She may have five pictures of herself throughout the house.
She first appears as a child and then as a 5-year-old girl with a pink ribbon that matches her clothing.
When she walks by them on her nightstand or bookshelf, she beams. They serve as a daily reminder to treat herself nicely. That girl still exists.
Monica Lewinsky is aware that she cannot escape the terrible and harmful adjectives that frequently accompany her name. Despite the fact that her relationship with President Bill Clinton and the subsequent vilification occurred more than 25 years ago, she is currently a writer, producer, activist, and filmmaker.
It is now a part of her and nothing to be feared.
On a wet Friday, she remarks from a friend’s apartment in New York City, “It’s not going to clear up like a blemish.” You sort of have to figure out how to live with it.
She makes use of her suffering and her background.
Her enormously successful Ted presentation on shame, which has 27 million views as of this writing, inspired her to devote a large portion of the previous eight years to antibullying initiatives. Now, she is going after our largest bully, who is frequently our deadliest opponent and the one who is unrelenting.
Our own internal dialogue.
The inspiration for Lewinsky’s most recent antibullying campaign, which debuted with a video today, came from the childhood pictures she had on display in her LA home and the critical remarks that prompted her to do so. Unscripted occurrences are used to create a potent PSA that focuses on self-bullying. Lewinsky collaborated with the PR agency Dini von Mueffling Communications and Mischief @ No Fixed Address.
In the video, children as young as 12 are heard speaking harsh things while others watch. Who the folks are truly speaking to is revealed in a shocking way at the end of the commercial.
Self-bullying is when you repeat hurtful things that others have said to you or listen to your own negative self-talk.
“This year is reflective. She explains that she wants people to understand that we are all capable of being the toughest bullies we know of. Although the concept of negative self-talk and our inner critic is not entirely new, framing it in this way may serve as a quiet wake-up call for some or a subtle reminder for others that it is something we should be aware of.
Much of the negativity subsided after she was made into a joke by middle-aged men hosting late-night talk shows and after she retreated from the spotlight to earn a Master of Science in social psychology from the London School of Economics, but those hurtful words continued to repeat in her head.
Lewinsky would admit that she has used a variety of therapies over the years, one of which was a workshop in which participants were instructed to record the things they told themselves.
Page after page after page, she claims, “It was very easy for me.”
But later, the task was modified. To read their list aloud to the group, they were instructed.
“That was a completely transformative process for me,” she claims. “It was upsetting to hear what I say to myself, the bully in my head, out loud. I sobbed intermittently. Just seeing how mean I could be to myself startled me.
She had to find a new technique to communicate with herself.
She now picks up her phone, which has a picture of her from kindergarten on the home screen, when she receives a text.
It does not always function.
She claims that she sometimes lacks the ability to be kind to herself when she is angry, pressured, fatigued, depressed, or anxious. “I do certain things, and it’s OK, not to give myself permission to do things, but to not make it worse, to not make the negative self-talk just compound inside,” the speaker said.
Lewinsky turned 50 this year, but it’s hard to believe when you see her sparkling smooth skin and dark glossy hair. You start to wonder if she isn’t still in some ways that 22-year-old stuck in time in a beret.
She has nevertheless experienced those years. She did it at the same time that the nation welcomed #MeToo and reexamined Clinton’s handling of Monica Lewinsky.
She is appreciative of the younger generation’s fresh perspective on what transpired in 1998.
Lewinsky never attempted to distance herself from what she claims was a consenting relationship for years, but in 2018 she wrote in Vanity Fair about how the power dynamic probably prevented her from doing so.
She attributes her presence now to her family. During those trying times, her mother had Lewinsky take a shower with the door open and woke her up at night to see if she was okay.
“Without my family, I wouldn’t be present. I was quite fortunate in that regard. Without the support of those who have known you your entire life and are the closest to you, I can’t even begin to comprehend what it would be like to experience what I did or any other type of crucible.
“The thing I tell myself now is that you only need to survive once to have it in you. No matter how awful it feels, you’ve probably been there before and understand the cycle. Even when things appear to be bad, they will improve.
She is aware that it is not easy.
It will change, but you never know when. Even though you can’t see it now, you will overcome this. Even though you may feel like curling up into a ball and disappearing at this very moment due to your intense guilt and pain, know that this will pass and you will soon feel joyful and like yourself once more. There will always be that part of you.
She’s now discovered that joy. She want to continue working as a producer and fighting bullying. She served as the executive producer of “Impeachment: American Crime Story,” a 10-episode series that aimed to humanize the women surrounding Clinton, as well as the co-executive producer of “15 Minutes of Shame,” which sheds light on public humiliation.
She is currently engaged in something. Although she is unable to divulge more information, you can tell how excited she is when she says: “I’m working on a limited series on another woman who endured criticism on the international stage at a young age… and somehow survived. It’s going to be a strong, must-see program.
Lewinsky claims that the last ten years have been her best decade.
“This last year has been a lot about acceptance, and acceptance is hard to have without a long runway, which is what age gives us,” the speaker claims.
She has discovered the depth of her strength, which she was always confident she possessed.
“You are not the boss of me,” I said at age 2, hands on hips, she says. My folks like to make fun of it. “I believe I was a really independent child. In elementary school, high school, and college, I don’t believe I thought of myself as that strong, but what’s essential is that resilience is a muscle that can be developed.
She is still working on it today.
She takes out the picture of herself when she was younger, with freckles and a genuine smile still displaying her baby teeth.
How would you respond to the girl?
“I just try to send her love that is unconditional so she can simply feel secure and supported and know that when she shows there, everything will be fine. It’s possible. Just so you know, everything is fine.
Dial 988 to speak with a representative of the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts. They are available around-the-clock and offer services in a variety of languages.